Friday, December 30, 2011

The other one-

Succharita still has those dreams
of things that never did happen
where she ran out of the wedding
never to be seen again
and she finds herself alone
standing somewhere near writers building
and it’s raining like it never did

And all while Rajeeb the guy that she did marry
sleeps next to her holding her hand
like a baby who needs continuous assurances
that she is there
and she always holds him
to assure she is
but sometimes only she knows
she is not

Life is so much about so many things these days
the Morning Darjeeling tea
Rajeeb and her offices
their occasional dinners
his special renditions of Paz
her making sure that Rajeeb gets
the correct proportioned maach fried
the way they occasionaly make love
Rajeeb's clumsy kisses those sometimes are cute
and a shared sense of destiny

They were the heady days of University
The days of the common Janta Party
Of Siddarth Shankar Ray's terror
Of Canning and Morichjhapi
Of dreams of utopia
the student revolutions
And Binod

The guy who had a voice like Bogart
The guy who always seemed taller than he was
who had a permanent five day stubble
and who always had a dream and a few poems
to leave you with

"Let not my love be called idolatry,
Nor my beloved as an idol show"

Sometimes Succharita, Shakespeare can make you feel all emotions that there are
She just nodded, willing to believe in every word he said
And while they kissed
she could strangely just think of Roses
Red scarlet Roses and a few thorns scarlet hued too

Later she met Rajeeb in Bangalore
He was quiet, shy and Rajeeb
And being Rajeeb slowly became an adjective
Of everything that is so normal that its almost unnoticeable
It seemed as if he was made to be lost in the crowds
He had read Merchant of Venice but no Sonnets
He never believed in struggles and armed revolutions
He who was strangely so comforting even in his presence
That you almost suddenly felt alone

They went to Kasauli and stayed there for a month, after that eventful wedding
The first words that he uttered after their Marriage was
You must be hungry after all this
And even in Kasauli when he made love to her
It was as if he was afraid that he would leave his marks on her
As if he was never meant to claim her

Rajeeb had read Sonnet 105
During one of the sunday lunches at Succahrita's
while he was glancing through her library
and found the brown diary
There was no name
no other mention
but he saw the hand writing
and he knew that he was
just a choice

Rajeeb has since
left office at lunch without notice
for she was running temperature
read Wuthering Heights
ran through esplande to buy her the exact flowers on her birthday
when it was pouring hell
stayed at home on mondays faking loose motions
just to see her the whole day
Fell in love with her every morning
Brutally killed his ego

In her dreams
There is a voice
'Love is selfish
Love wants this regular need of expressing it
Love makes you weak in knees and everywhere else
Love would bring no revolution
I love you but..
There is life beyond it too
Succharita for once live
and not just breathe'

Rajeeb still lives with this constant need of her being around
Succharita sometimes is around
Binod is mammoth in his absence

And we know there are things
'Stranger than Fiction.'

1 comment:

manali said...

definitely one of your best! you are growing shekhar... and ur words are glowing .... :)