Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Our World

How we call ourselves
of the world
when our pretense is as if
it belongs to us
ours is the whole dominion of earth

The sea opening up
her bosom to us
and calls upon the rains
and we cleave it
our wounded waste
is all we have left
it to offer.

The rains
for themselves
have started being capricious.
Rain is a friend
which needs to be fed
and we only take
the debt is not paid,
and we
still hope,kneel down and pray
for it to visit
but seldom do we realize
it is but a precious nugget.

We still have a way,
be the proteus
befriend the nature
and let it
thrive,prosper and grow
understand that this is
our only chance
before alongwith
the earth we shalt be mowed.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Silent Life,Silent Death

This poem is dedicated to a few people actually a few millions of them who lived and died in certain parts of our planet like


A long list must say and to those too who are waiting for their inevitable deaths there because "We don't care" and even if we do.What can we do? We cannot raise our voice we have no powers and all that.I'll be asked for solutions to this and the truth is I don't have one.

I just want us to be more considerate more thankful for life,More humane.

Sun peeps in
quietly and waits
for the day to begin
as it always has been
the days of darkness,
days of silence.
The sun looks on tacitly
as it has always did
for many decades
and waits on passively
waits for the inevitable bland
as the fires like his
but fires of darkness
would engulf the land.

A place where
life protrudes,
protrudes to a quest
for its end
and awaits death
as death knocks
silently life walks
with it unquestioningly
and through time
a few more silent lives grow.
And each one of them
after a while
learns to be quiesce
untill they are mowed.

Where silence
is the voice
and silence
is an ally too,
of morbid nights
and ghoulish mornings.
A place
where earth
is emblazoned
in a red hue.
Life has never known
its actual rendition has no clue
and is fraternized
with mortuoused yearnings.

The wind blows eyes closed
too afraid
to wake up
the gone,
afraid of itself
as it has been
privy to many mortal ends.
It blows on
through to the
other side with its jitters
and when it passes them
it sings a tune
a coronach and falls on deaf ears.

And I
witness it all
as the meek are oppressed
and a lorn guilt
creeps into me.
So impotent am I
that can't utter
a word
and our world sighs
too engrossed
within itself
to pay heed
when truth dies.

Scorned will be we
for eternity
to let
slaughter prevail
and being myrmidon
to all of it.
in the same
claret hues
hues of blood.
Our apathy
will be written
no matter how much
we sheath it
with our immoral morality.

Thank You.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

What If...?

Have felt the glow of the morning sun
and tried to hold it within my palm
but then unclenched the fist to let it go
it was time for it to be back to its home its sun adobe.

Have seen the rains
and drew the beauteous portrait of them.
And gave it back to the waters
to let them cherish and smile.

Have flown all along
with the flowing breeze
Then came back when they met the horizon.
To let old lovers meet.

Have broken myself many times
and then again redid me,
learned to walk the path of rigors
and on my way to love have learned to let go.

Have acquainted many and let them intrude
into the world of me and then when the path of life's
of them crossed mine.
Learned to forge new bonds with time.

Have learned to carve my words on paper,
scattered all over like the night stars and the misty sky.
What if have to unfurl them someday
and bid them adieu say my byes.
My breaths will come full circle then
A pain so great It wouldn't be survived.

...A pain so great It wouldn't be survived...

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Cold Nights

That night when the frigid winds blew
as they are blowing today
I saw you smiling
amidst the stars
and took the shadow
of your smile with me,
as a debt I had to keep.

And as that smile
incinerated in my heart
I burned many dreams through it
to keep me warm for many days to come
dreams of tenderness,
dreams of love
dreams of intimacy.

Then the fire quenched
after sometime
and I had to repay
your smiles
through my tears,
tears flowing
through many wintry nights.

And now when
nights are cold,
I burn my heart
a little bit everytime.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

For the Non-Citizen

I know it is long but if you read complete it,then has a message not my message but the message of those who have been forgotten in the race for being the great superpower.

You may not hold my views but you can still read and think it over.

Thank You.

They fight
they kill
they ruin
against their
own rulers,their swayers
their own land
what do they want
they are as much the players
as much the citizens
as anybody else.
why don't they
participate in
the democratic process
why do they
need to be violent
and be the abscess
in the land
of a man
who abhorred violence
And why for God's sake
now have they divorced
themselves from
the comforting silence.

And that too now
when we are
almost a powerful country
on the verge
and the chumps
they are shouting
crying there dirge.

When humans
are not seen as humans
but resources
they become objects
don't they?
Objects and numbers
bereft of joy or remorse's.
When land is
not governed
but business deals
give decrees
what are the stakes
for the non share holders.
for the poor,the hungries.
Snatching away
your own land
where you've lived
for years
and offering money
for that.
evidently with tears.
And if you refuse
you are a hindrance
to progress.
who progresses
who regresses?

They could
voice there opinions
they can,
they can
participate in elections.
though they
are minions.
the great elections
where you can win
only if you
are a crook
along with money.
a name and
an established kin.
But they can
in the
democratic process
of course.
Of they'll be
after that disposed.

They can
be non-violent too
trust them
like that old man,
old man who?
They can go for fasts
and non-co-operation.
But fasts
how can they fast
when they
haven't had food
for many days past.
you cannot
go for abstinence
in sub-Saharan condition.
then what is left.
but pretense.

Sometimes ,
at times
it is immoral
to stand
against the gun.
Though it is
far easier,
to dispatch weaks
to let them shun.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Student To Teacher

Let me walk down
the path of unknown of knowledge myself.
Be the guide who takes me to that door
but then myself lets me explore.

I will fall I know
may be even afraid to tread more I'll whaddle
Though that is the whole point isn't it?
To let me at times stumble.

And when am down be there
to hold me,
to teach me,to mould me.

Be my foundation,
my pillar,
know that I believe you and I walked
as you said but I was just a beginner.

Teach me the world you know,
Far there up close,
make me understand it myself,my way.
Teach me don't impose.

My faith in me
will determine the man I'll be.
So harness that for me,
Oh! my guide,Oh! my tutuor.
Don't let me follow,please walk beside me
in my voyage of that great future.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Would you

Would you hold me even when my shadows go,
Would you walk with me when its been raining all night,
smile at me when you see tears
hidden inside my eye. Would you be my.

Would you caress me with your eyes although thousands are around,
would you hold me close when melancholy autumn arrives,
and take me through all my days
weather they are sad or wry. would you be my.

Would you watch the night sky lying on the terrace squeezing my hand close,
say nothing and just embrace me holding the threads of our smiles
and say millions of things by your sighs and forever together
we will there lie. would you be my.

Would you be the pillar I've wanted all along,
would you be the power which helps me face the world
and still love me with my failures
not letting our love die. would you be my.

...Just mine...

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

A Poetic tale

It is as if to look into
a night without stars
and filled with cloud
dark enchanting
yet magnetic,
the beauty the magic of thy hair
the shine is black but in all its blackness,
It mesmerizes,catches and holds me fair.

He hath not heard
neither seen nor praised GOD's earth
who is yet to listen to
thy caress like voice
like the voice of angels
thy enigmatic croon
hear thy melody,
thy divine tune.

Doth he
any thought
of what he hath missed,
he who hath
missed to see
your face a while to stare,
a chance to touch your soul,
to feel thy tender loving care

And now I see thee
hither hither calling her and thee look at me
becharming,enamor me near
and I loose all my senses
as with those dazzling eyes
and gossamer skin,holds me
and take me to thy bosom embracing
as I drown into thee.

But Alas I see blood dripping down
i am frightened,I perspire.
realizing all the beauty was a mere facade
as thee were a blood suckling vampire

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Window,My Window

I can see a whole world through it,
my window,the window of dreams,
The summer sun,the winter chill,
the leafs of autumn,
the crystal drop of rains.
My window is witness to all.
My sorrows,my joy,
my pains.

I can see a kid
playing beside the road
an old woman crossing the streets
a beggar walking by,
the world is so small in my windows,
treating one another
so nigh.

Through my windows
I can look as far as I can
there are no boundaries except my eyes
but then how did
we humans created differences
when an obtuse window
could discern that all are equal
there need not be any preferences.

My window sees all the same
all are men all are one
and are in it for equal frames,
but windows made me realize
that it is us humans that
we tried to tame
we have made walls,
on GODs land have we laid claim.

unlived unbreathed
but still so correct ,so sane
I pray GOD is looking at us
through one such
window pane.

Am I In Love

Those eyes
seem to trace me
everywhere all the time,
if ever
i can steal
some moments
and look
into nothingness
those eyes look at me
from eternity
and they
talk to me of things
that I have never known
of touches
I am yet to have
of kisses
still in my mind
of words still unwritten
but caressed
into my heart.

of a thousand colours
all at once
is what those lips
are made of
they bloom
they flow
and becharm,
and whenever
things are down
and out of
my hands
that smile
whispers in my ears
of promised days
of unlived nights
of the breaths
it holds
still unfelt
at my neck.

That dream
which recurs
to me every night
an angel
is in it
who holds me
and I drown in her
then she partakes me
into oceans
of intimacy
where those eyes
those smiles
and all I have
ever felt
impinges me
strokes me
into moans
of tenderness
and quietus me
but with life.

Am I in love...

Thursday, October 15, 2009


There's a fool inside me
who thinks of untangling the strings
of this confused world,a world in rile
which makes me smile

In temples,In mosques,In Churches,In guns
people try to find there GOD
but not in truth in atraxis all while
so I smile.

They fight with all the weapons,
they kill and the naive me
thinks of replying them with love not guile
thinking of which I smile

To serve there own necessities
own happiness ,own luxuries
is what they crave for and I
think of serving GOD,no matter am how debile
I bow down & I smile

And to expect miracles
that peace will come
that belief would be reinstated
that humans will treat all the same way
and only in GOD would we be prostrated

to pray,to hope,to have trust in goodness
is for what I vie miles after mile
so that someday we all can smile

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Dinner Party

Shabby,Unkempt,hapless was he
& a few bread crumbs
in his hands
were all that you could see

Being the only glittering gem
peeking out the ragged skin
& the wrinkled face,
sitting at the corner,near the bin

Slowly savoring every bit of
the bite he could take.
started putting them into mouth
He had after all had his bread cake.

An old friend came unannounced
then barked
they knew each other from before,
days gone by of hunger darked.

They had quite a many
dinner out of the waste bin together,
demanding exigent was a friend
and he knew what he wanted,his part of fodder.

The friend licked him relishing the food,
they both smiled
continued savoring
GOD's precious gifts and dined.

And a car went pass them
the closed windows opening
throwing the uneaten ,unused grubs.
all in a fleeting second
The man looked at the car
and then his friend and smiled.
thrown wasted food tasted good.
he always reckoned.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Half Filled Letter

A letter half filled with words
& half with words still unfurled
waits to be completed,
I have kept a pen by its side
just to keep company
to make it feel like something
being thought about
still looked at
but the truth is,
it isn't
to think of
that letter
frightens me
to no end.

Because I can never put
your eyes into words
neither those lips
which quivered
when it took my name
can be exchanged
with any
worldly word.
The letter waits
for words still unmade.

How could those wordless talks
be put the other way
those eyes which looked at me
& then at the ground
saying infinite things,
still more quietly.
The day when I started
to put my thoughts
into words
& the night before
when rain fell
and you departed,
you'd said "I'll be back"
but never came.

I kept on waiting
and still wait
when rains fall
but they don't bring you with them
me I am always looking out of the window
into all shadows but they say you're gone
you won't ever come
and I still wait just like
that half filled letter
of unfulfilled emotions,colourless hue
of incomplete me,
Unsaid you.

Friday, October 2, 2009


And they fight
for the possession of land
when numberless
spent there life
on landless huts,
but they
do not worry about that
it is their pride
at stake
if they do not have
that priced land slice
on the other side
& on their side
a whole race dies.

They make weapons
which can kill millions
at an instant
but they
do not know
about many millions
who die
of the want
of food
on their streets cripple.
Streets which
are burning
with rage against
their own people.

Amazed and wondering
at what they want
to lead
what they want
to govern
their helpless humans
or lifeless pieces of land

I'd still need some time

The pain still creeps in
vaguely though,

Even if time heals,
some time is still desired,
time to forget what occured
to forget that life had stopped.
Time till your image
in the heart of my wall peels.

To smile again,
I'd still need some time,
How can I again
live the life of love,
I'd still need some time.

Those eyes on me,
they still linger,
those smiles of love
come back stronger.

so how can I
let go all of it.
i'd still need
some time.

The path of love
still has its imprints on me,
I'd need to dust it off ,
To crawl back to life again,
I'd still need some time.

I'd still need some time.


The rain drops fallin on the leafs would make a euphony
I would come near you while you are still asleep,
would then wake you up by letting a few droplets
fall on your cheek perhaps you'd sweetly peep.

And you'd be waken with a face as red as a cherry,
We'll not talk & still communicate through eyes,through smiles
The rain outside will make you squeak ,let you smile like a child
then may be you'll hug me & hold me tight for some while

The stars shining bright,
We would walk by the sand besides the river,
staring at your face I would caress you by my eyes
Will continue to do that till you smile & your lips quiver

And all the moments would seize to flow,
the stars,the moon would loose there shimmer,
as your smile would glow
more than anything ever.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Moral Alms

Abuzz with activity,
the big city square
shines bright,
cars passing,
running by.
Walkers savouring
the panorama
of light.

He tries
to get close to
one of these
big cars,
with windows closed
knocks at
breath bated

A lot of knocking after
on different windows
different hues
when the amber turned to green
they passed him by,glaring a maddening whiz
and he stood gazing
looking at his naked preen

Seems like
today is no festival,
they don't need to
give him alms
to feed their
own conscience,
no important religious ritual
to comfort their own vice.

Seems like
he would stay hungry
& wait for them to
feel guilty enough to
offer him something,
to remain pity
in order to
get their piety.

To wait
for them to be
hungry again
for their moral alms.

Monday, August 31, 2009

A Story To Be Told

Let me tell you a story
A story
you already are
acquainted with
A story
of slained truth
Maligned humanity,
sacrificed dignity.

The story was forged
in the midnights
Half of august had gone
with almost
equivalent part of century
& ironically mother
was divided into half too
A part for me,another for you.

Now the part with me
like the part with you
was mutilated its humans humiliated
but we took pride,the way
foxes smile on a carcass
the soul was depleted
left over was just
a contaminated mass.

This contaminated mass
was what both sides wanted
& so badly that
they fought three times
over and over again
and you better know
that when a hand fights another
who gets the pain.

But many Augusts
have passed many will pass by
along with
many humans unknown
many a august company nigh
but who cares let them go
We would fight,we would die,
we would not bow.

So the story of blood carries on
though many die infants
or live for food
but never get much of it
slowly crawling to death
is what human is
destined to

and we fight for
This fight is on whom
we are breathing
we are its minion

The story is in a circle
it goes
The red liquid is harmless
it just flows.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Story Of stars-Children Poem

Often I wondered
with amaze
at the night stars
& their twinkling glaze.

On a clear
moon lit night
can see
all stars glowing bright.

Countless Stars
their countless Abodes
an unknown traveler
alone on numberless roads.

hesitatingly Confronted Father
one such night,
asked the story of stars
their birth & blight.

God created them for all of us
each star for each man on earth
look into one select it as your pal,
share with it your sorrows your mirth.

I understood it all then
with smiles & glee
though looking into grown up world now
it baffles me.

If God is so merciful
so as to have infinite stars for zillions of men
why ain't Earth equal
for all of us then

Sunday, August 16, 2009

A Plate Full Of Mirth

Never really rich,was he.
neither did he aspire
for money a lot.Born into a huthold
where money was earned & spent the same day,
they did send him to school though,
with glee.
till he could write his name
& his fathers may be.

After some years the school fee
became almost equal
to the amount to be paid for
a few kilo of rice
& he knew,he was enough shrewd
that school would have to
be bartered for food

& he started working with his Bapu
on the constructional site,
now two earning members
in a huthold of five
made it easy a bit,where chances
were always bleak
& they started
having vegetables two days a week.

but fate,
took Bapu away,
or may be alcohol did.
But now vegetables
once a week
was what he dreamt,of late
Always though it was
an empty plate.

Once when his mother became ill
his sister came to give him his lunch
she never looked up
just came & went
but the labour head of the site
offered him to give a raise,
starting that night

He stabbed him
with the empty liqur bottle
of that man.
He was sent to
jail for a few years.
He was bewilder
who was ethically wrong
he could not decipher.

The time finally arrived
back he came from the jail
with a renewed zeal & vigour.
His dignity on bail.

And today the night was dark
now he would break
into that mansion.
he wanted vegetables
four days a week,he would have it.
having his self worth
on sale
for a plate full of mirth.

Friday, August 14, 2009


In some land far off
but still near
a man would wake up tomorrow
blinking with concern & fear
How he would get his food
& would shudder.
as no work is no food for him
wouldn't the national anthem let him bewilder

Easy was to have independence
from men alien & stronger
tough is to fight within
to attain freedom from hunger.

Sleepy dreams on an early morning day

T'was you who always resonated in my mind
as I spend my days & nights that way.
Yet you came & went staying a few moments
like the sleepy dreams on an early morning day.

Thee were like a word always recurring,a thought always echoed
out of some lament unknown,sonnets yet to be written.
Or may be like the feel of a Tranquil night
after the toil over hours under the burning sun.

Like a pain yet unexperienced
or an obscure anguish which has now allayed.
Yet you came & went staying a few moments
like the sleepy dreams on an early morning day.

You were like a reeking pleasure which is found
after rains has dripped the land.
Or perhaps in the midst of a dying autumn
a day filled with winds & sand.

Youre lovable lies were treasured,entwined
with my heart like suns & its ray.
Yet you came & went staying a few moments
like the sleepy dreams on early morning day.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009


A Bullet was fired,
It Killed,
A father's dreams
The hope of a mothers of her son to come,
Child who was waiting for his toy gun
Sister whose brother was her Pride
A girl who had just became a bride
And May be An army Man too.

A War was fought,
Two Armies comprising humans,
Two Countries made of humans,
Some leaders I doubt if they are humans,
Selfish human egos,
Absent human pathos.
And may be It was won.

Was It...
Worth it...

Monday, July 27, 2009

Defining Love

Have you ever looked at her smile
& tried to breath
in the same moment,same while.
Then Realizing how operose it is,
left trying
being at the mercy of that smile.
That is what it means to
live & die in the same instant.

The way your words leave you
when you have a river of thoughts flowing,
it is she in which your mind lets you incarcerate
but every time you try to
verbalize the flow,
somehow it evaporates.
Is it what they mean by being
Out of words.

...Is this love what they talk about..

Friday, July 24, 2009

Kashmir Mountains

Old mountains
what not have you seen,
you've seen me beautiful
draped in the white flakes
like a wean.
Through snow which covers you now
& you've seen me
in my former self,
as I should be,
The tranquil queen.

Adobe of peace
the miniature of heaven,
but now what remains
is just cavern.

Oh Quondam Mountains,
You've let me
breath life into you
now you see me thrashed,broken.
helpless without clue.
You've seen guns of multitude
& men in green uniform fighting
men in adorns undefinable,
Some wicked some destitute
At times even no men at all.

Do you see the white hue
of the vale
turning into Red
bright red but pale.

Great Mountains
I've made you,
I am your creator
& Now You see me eroding
The slow death of an old mother.

But tell to Oh Mighty Mountains
Them who have made me red
& now are seeing me walk to be dead.
Remember the fallen blood weeps,
Blood never sleeps.

Idyllic Life

To walk on & breath the sweet odor of rain,
In my unknown hamlet ,own grounds.
How calm it makes,If pastoral I could live,
bereft of uncaring town surrounds.

Blest would be I to,walk in the rain,
neither run,nor hide ,but unwind.
As a stroll when its pouring would make me free,
of conundrums dwelling in my mind.

And I wish my GOD on my ground I live
be bucolic ,walk the rain.
with the easing charm of the falling pours,soothing my life,
blase of City life bane.

Let me thrive nameless,unsung
In the falling rains,may my breaths lie,
Placidly would I pass my days
Uncried,Obscure but happy will I die.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


Are you afraid of yourself
that you'll outshine your mediocrity
meliorating your ability
Thence society'd shun you as they do always,
to them who out do it,cerebrate.
Remember society in its own
joys of self-righteousness is inebriate

Remember old man Copernicus,
made to drink Poison for church's name,
who said It is not earth
the center of universe
but is,just a part.
The truth it is out
& dropped of the precipice.

The church,the society.
They could not believe him.
its not true against the norms.
They had him behind the bars
because of there whims.
Is this the society
you want a part to be.

And he is not the only man,
they've come & gone
& even Prophets were not spared.
Jesus was hanged,
For Hoi Pollois sanctity
Wasn't he great too.
But such is our society.

You are GODs child do not forget,
How can you not let
his glory be sent all around,
your playing small
would not serve the purpose,
Do not shrink so that others around you do not feel
insecure dead tumulus .

Let your light shine through
because when you let it too,
you give others
with yourself a chance to redeem,
to prove themselves
to go through.

Do not thrive to be equal,
be a step advance.
So that the world grows with you,
For once give your self a chance.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Don't seek to fall in love with me.

You'd desire ,
to have glistening star at your palms.
Perhaps a few nibbles of the morning cloud,
Whereas I live in darkness exist on alms.
And my clouds here
they don't glisten,they just rain & flee
So this is what I'd have to plea
Don't seek to fall in love with me.

I have forgotten all the prayers,
have discarded every hope,
To alter life more certain,
truth is from what I had to elope.
Liven as dead & aspiring depravity.
But you'd like to have
hope,joy & glee.
Don't seek to fall in love with me.

You still have a way out now,
It would still be considered a silly err,
after a while they would call you names,
as is done with me,they'll rub you slur.
How would you
abandon your dignity like me,
wouldn't that be a little tough for thee,
Don't seek to fall in love with me.

It's been ages since I had a laugh,
happy was what,I never had a chance to be.
Seasons changed into years time rolled on,
melancholy was the only solace I could see.
And you,you are used to
laugh on sweet nothings,
how would you turn your life gloomy,
Don't seek to fall in love with me.

Neither do I remember,
when I last had a breath.
For sustaining a life,
not for coming close to death.
Nor I know
what I ate other than my sorrowful blithe.
Dear You are used to living with Smiles & sumptuosity,
Not used to any such ascetic agony,
Don't seek to fall in love with me.

Laments On Loss Of Love-Raj & Pari

This Post is a joint Effort By Me & A Dear Friend Pari,A 60-40 effort towards her.

By River Teesta as he stood
smoking a cigar in the evening's hood
of the dark night to unfold
his life's thoughts & moments on the threshold
glowed somewhere far, a lamp of charcoal
he saw in its depths murky waters sink in
but the shallow banks had clear streams rolling
The little fish there jumped in gay abandon
joyous of the company of fresh waters random
while the black deep saw the twirls & the foam.
And, there he stood, all alone! Deranged?
Their need, their reason for existence could not be exchanged !
Thoughts riveting back to those scarlet days,
When hope was alive, with love in his ways
But now the anguish of revealing the truth of it all,
She is not in love with him, oh the merciless hurt ,the fall.
To look at the fishes swimming with the flow,
The joy of their swim,the river on whom stars glow.
They are elated even to float that way,
They don't desire,to move nor to sway
Staring in the waters with the heart busy thinking though..
In the irony of her beauty even the stars seems to bow..
Unaware of the tears falling from the dreaming visions..
Swimming in shallow, the soothing, want to make him listen..
The fact he must know, a smile again he must preach..
Stars on our face do glow, but forgiveness is what we want to teach..
A lone star you wish to stay, but reality of existence is all so fake..
You praised the silence in whatever we spake,
But no more deep has remained the lake..
Thought then he, aloud of his whim
If the fish in the stream, with new waters everyday, swim
Without the desires they have to hold on
To what is now woebegone
And the stars reflect on the river
As if GOD has blessed them forever.
Then he should too swim like a friend on the shore
A friend he would be, just a friend, and no more.

"All that is left wid us, nay ME, is yet, a lost another day..
We are not losing the hope to live, nor sardonically do our smiles away..
Happy we are to see a new day with the rising sun..
Forgetting the grief we felt last night, moving on again, life again on the run!"
Threw he then, the burning cigar in the cold waters of Teesta
Flicked out the keys for his open jeep to go through a vista
With one stroke, the vehicle roared alive
Yes, he had to go, let go, far away drive
Into the wisdom of the dawn of the fading night
The long alley had to unwind many a moments dark & light.
~ BY Pari & Raj Shekhar Sen

I am obliged & Thankful,That you found me worthy of your association,Girl.

Thanks Partner.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Ode To A flea

Mighty flea,
who can I write a hymn on but thee,
Shall I compare thee to the winged fairy
or the gentle blood suckling vampire,
Well its true thee suck blood
but its just a pint or two,
& those who call the fly
a menace just conspire.

The flying Elysian,
art thou from heaven,
no how can it be,
you belong to this earth
just like me,
the gift of almighty to we.
but never do debile human
realize thou worth,

How can anthropiclings call Flea just
a mindless sucker,
but you absorb the unused
worthless out from us,
shouldn't then
we call thee
provider of
loving buss

But look at us the despicable thankless
we call flea names
saying things we should seldom utter to
beings as lofty as skeeter
but then thee do realize,
we are just as powerless in front of divine epizoon
as was Napoleon in Waterloo

The droning warrior,
is there anything the flea fear.
How ignorant can I be,
some Obama named bully,
used a weapon to execute thee
but I apologies
it was just too advertise
that he could slain the same way all the terrorist with plain glee
as he did to the lonely weak flea.

But oh when thee sting,
sting with flea anger
Proving to all
weather Obama or Joe the plumber
the dangerous wrath
to every man.
They'll forget this way
to swat you & say,
"Yes We can"..
"Yes We can"

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Female In Love

She Could Not Fathom It,
It Wasn't Like This Before
Or Was it always
& was just she
who refused to see it,afore.

But all Was mushy & merry
At The beginning,
Sweet Nothings On the Phone for endless hours
For long wide & far
talking of Nothing & Everything.
But The Calls now Like his expressions
Were Becoming lesser & mar.

She thought It was Just Her mind
that Is used to flinching
thinking of the ship being sinking
Dreaming the of this trash
But Now she Could See It.
all is going too crash.

After The Initial Flame
Died down,
rarely would they chat
where one of them would Not spat
& Now he had Not called her
it had Been a week.
She was Angry & hurt
everything looked bleak

How Could He do it,
She thought,
she had been a blind Buffoon.
Living in her cocoon.
He was Always yelping
busy was his second name,
he couldn't save Time
How could she blame.

Then She tried to trust,
But how he always had time
for every other thing,He must.
what if He Was shafting
since the start
may be he was just playing with her,
perhaps he never loved her through heart

Oh!! what A fool
she had Been to let her be a tool
Not To understand then,
but now it was clear,
It'll Not Work This way.
She would not let herself
cry all night & day.

Why should She care,
when He does Not,it was know naked bare
Why Should She be The one
To pick up it all,
She should rather let him go,
perhaps she'll leave Him
once it for all

Ah..!!! The Phone rings..
She picks It Up..
He sighs,
"Hi...!! I Know I Have Not Been Good.
But I Missed You
All These whiles
I Really Did
You know last night I cried like a kid"

She Could Not Hear
Anything After that,
He Missed her
He Did...
She was crying But
she was happy,happy like a kid.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Oh! My Country you are Great

Twenty sixth was the day...a few bullets woke us up
& many went to sleep.
May be a bullet reached us too,
made of anger,pain & agony.
But then..was just a bullet,wasn't it.
may be someone just plugged it out from us,
now we are not anguished annoyed anymore.
back to our older lives daily chore
of earning ,eating,love & hate.
Oh! My Country you are Great.

This land belongs to Farmers they say,
growing crops & a bit of hay,
but now they have started to kill
themselves off.
but who cares,
we get our grains from distant shores lands far off
made of their scientific rains.
Lives of farmers,that doesn't scoff.
Peasants let them blate.
Oh! My Country you are Great.

Some of them do make a hue & cry
for there needs & want,
but the authorities
and its power is when flaunt,
they die & we just ask why.
People who do not come on screens
or e mails aren't Humans for us anymore.
What Lalgadh or nandigram
we don't have time,we can't wait.
Oh! My Country you are Great.

There is an India beyond the periphery
of our homes too,
But for us,its just the men in blue,
to clap & cheer for them,
just them,would that do.
Three million still sleep hungry,
Girls still immolated for dowry.
But thinking of them wouldn't vex Mate.
Oh! My Country are Great...

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Equal Rains

Letting everything be dripped,Into them
As if someone saying from above,
That all are equal to him
All can get wet

Rain falls never divide
Just like those droplets,
Droplets which encapsulates you into them,
Touching you,caressing you all while
And making you smile

Then why don't you smile,
Why your hearts never trickle with rains.

Writer's Block

When my words fail me,
there's nothing
to look forward to
& even to feel.
For it is my words
which cater me life
its hope.
It is my words which
let me fight the world
its bitterness
& keep me going don't let me kneel
My words,they heal.

when my words fail me,
nothings left to try
not even the breeze with all
its care can cheer
neither the face with
love & smiles
but to wait in melancholy
to breath heavy
to grope solitude
see the rusted winds
to moan & sigh.
For it is my words unstraining me
& making me fly.

when my words fail me
the shadows turn gloomy
everything is so worthless
The earth does go round
but does it matter to me.
Somedays when they do fail
nobody laughs anymore
there's no pain,
I turn numb
neither am I reasonable nor insane
they are my life,they are my blood.
My words complete me,
without which I am absurd.

When my words fail me
a void creeps in
without any me
free of any worldly you
as when my words fail me
I fail too....

Friday, July 10, 2009

Blind & Insane , Me

And again
they crusade for
there faith,
as if it is a toy,
mine better than his,
providing greater joy
As if my GOD would give me
his bread,
& accepting mine than
would render him
place to live,clothes to cover.
What if he doesn't
well,a life of death a voyage to suffer.

But Oh!! mighty Lord
why can't I see the
difference between them,
their broken lives
distorted mind.
Perhaps it is me who is insane,
it is me who is blind.

I know they are
different though,
but I see
the same reap,the same sow
& my eye yells & cries,
Look they have the same colour,
same face ,same eyes

& if they laugh
which they rarely do now
they have the same facade
of smile too,
the same curve is in their brow.
But it is not true,
they are unlike.

Their books are,
& so is
their smiles,their pain.
GOD must've created them dissimilar.
It is me who is blind
perhaps also insane.
& I can just see blood flowing,
that too from both of them,
the same hue of red,
which keeps growing
But I am sure
it is different too,
it must be,it has to.
Blood can't go vain.

Oh!! What a grim blind Am I....
....Blind & Insane....

Thursday, July 9, 2009


T'was a sun filled morn,
when passing through the country way.
My eyes fell on the divine florets,
I could just stare & pray.

"Is it the daisy from Eden" mulled I.
I saw the blossoms of hundred moon.
The dawning dew made it look like that
or a nightingale's soothing croon

How could I gather the courage to move,
for what if the panorama eroded.
To stay near bliss for a moment too long,
to refill my life,as life had turned jaded.

But had to desert the enlivened daisy
with a heavy glum heart,
couldn't give my work a miss,had to leave the beauteous song
with hope of coming back to it,when the moon would rise & start.

I came back before the sun fell down
To inhale the paradise in red
Alas! could not dare to stare at it
when saw it numb & dead

But oh! my fallen Lily you taught me a thing on life,
that we all come for a few whiles
& while at earth we should spread the joy
giving others the potion of love we have & a life made of smiles

A Man Died

I wrote it because I do not know what is wrong or correct but I know that there are certain things no matter how much you have weighed them in your thoughts you find yourself lost after committing them.

"A Man died"
Depicts how a man no matter how reluctant & how correct by his standards to do something is still wrong & yet no man is wrong if we take into account the circumstances.

in front of him it lay
It is a gift by the well wishers
said they.
But could he take it,
wasn't it evil.
questions came
& went past his mind
But shouldn't he respond,
it was unbecoming of him to be unkind.

Then remembering all those times
of childhood present & lures
when mom said,you can never have
over which theirs no right of yours.
Having something
that way
is like stealing
& you cannot be a thief
lest you want to blot
the family name by your mischief.

But oh!! lust oh satanic lust!!
he wanted it so badly
& did he wish it was his,
if it was he would take it up gladly.
it was something which could be
a panacea to all his ills.
Goodness on the other side said ,
what cure can poison do.
Alcohol is good just for a few loose moments.
For rest
it just torments.

The conundrum,the confusion almost killed
But the face of his daughter
came to him
yet to be wedded to be given at the altar
they need money for it
don't they.
To give somebody in order to
get the guy to buy her or wed her
whatever they say.
he didn't care
it was what society had designed
& he was no one to question to waiver.

He would rather have it
why wouldn't he,
What had he got for not accepting gifts.
They were so real so true,he could see.
Unlike those false
morals mocking myths.
He placed a hand over them
to feel them ,the smell
Oh! so intoxicating like an age old wine,
yet so new as if he knew it well.

He took it,The bribe
& exonerated,sighed.
That day a Man died.

Saturday, July 4, 2009


Oh!! mighty human tell what is there to live for
but not thy dreams
& to breath for
but humanity.
To touch every soul
so its core is purified,
to feel heaven
to pray divinity.

Oh!! the most baron specie say What thee aspire
if not the greatest of joy.
But is it derived from
money,gold or any worldly toy.
It is to be made through the love of
meek,the weak the tired the lost.
Make them feel special,
special at any eldritched cost.

Oh!! noetic wight What would thee have,
for thy is the whole length of universe.
Though it is to be earned by the arduousness of your work
& not by any manner else regardless how terse,
paying through that cherished sweat
then to give it back to the mortals of earth
knowing that thee could have had all of it,but for the smile of those for whom
thou just threw & presented as a gift,coginited by that unsaid inner mirth

Oh!! children of the LORD be humble
& thee will know that almighty is with thou
for how can he love those who brag who boast.
but not you,who loved him back who did bow
to infer that everything thy had
was actually his
& everything at which thee failed
was his Wish.

Friday, July 3, 2009


We often divide ourselves into borders & countries forgetting that the souls residing both sides of it are Humans with the same smiles,sadness,pains & love.This post is to make us understand that their is something Beyond Borders

Their moon is not like ours,perhaps..
Sun too does not lit & burns this way,
Days are referred as Nights & Nights as Days by them,Perhaps.

This is why we live within our lines,our boundaries..

When dad comes back from his work,he never hugs his kids there,perhaps.
Mother never lets them eat out of her hands,
They have coined new words for Love,Care & Faith ,perhaps.

This is why we live within our lines,our boundaries..

Rains do not make them smile ,perhaps
& the winds which blow from our sides,burns into their hearts
instead the borders prevent the winds from intruding into their territory,perhaps.

This is why we live within our lines,our boundaries..

Love does not tenderizes their hearts,perhaps.
Hatred goes so deep in them afterall.
It is only we & only we who want serenity & peace

This is why we live within our lines,our boundaries..

They are not much fond of kids,perhaps
& even elderlies aren't respected that way.
Presumably they aren't that human,perhaps

This is why we live within our lines,our boundaries..

Thursday, July 2, 2009


I wrote it keeping in mind the situation a child would face in inhuman conditions where people live rather just slowly die worse off than animals.Places like Sudan....

An Ode to their tragedy...

The end beckons
it is inevitable
& the truth is
I long for it
I know it would render
the peace,
ataraxis that never could
I have had
in the lifeless existence,that myth.
I was bestowed with.
perhaps it would wash me of my sins
make it even
sins owed for which
I was allowed to have
a dead liven
never did I knew
when I committed them
as in this life
I was not allowed to breath
let alone to
have perpetrated some crime
to have a lifelike death.

I have felt this
hollowness inside,
rotating ,convulsing,
ever since
I opened my eyes
to the world
& now it feels
I would be engulfed into it.
Perhaps that would
better be,
may be the pain
would die down,
along with me.

Oh food,
yes they sometimes
talked of it,
My mother died wailing for which.
I haven't seen
what it looks like
how is its face,
but I know its beautiful.
As everytime
I am closer to being numb
they drop something in my mouth
to be licked & yelp
& say
"Proper food could help."
But now they have no hope,
they say
I wouldn't be alive much long,
If this life
& its ways by which you live,
then how is death wrong.

The hollowness grows,
void inside me flows,
In moments
not far from now
I'll have a peaceful end
Perhaps this is what they mean when
they say that
Death is GOD send.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Hungry Souls

For All Those Who Slept Hungry Tonight

He saw them
those who could eat in gobbles
because even on better days
his story was nibbles.
Then they threw the foods
unnecessary to them uneaten thrown bit
& he saw the dogs
devouring & fighting over it.
He wasn't jealous
for the dogs in view
were almost as hungry as him,he knew.

He saw them
when they came,on certain days ,
photographing everything giving breads to him
uplifting there selves in there own special social ways.
But then these days were far& few
On most other days,
it was just looking at them,& the food they threw
watching the blessed dogs .
from the other side of road
looking at them for food & board.

He saw them,
then the dogs & the food slew
trying to fathom who he was closer too.

Sunday, May 31, 2009


It begun like a mornings dream,
hazy,murky,could catch
just a seconds view
a momentary gleam.
But oh!! stranger,on the strange route
unknown pedestrian,unnamed course
thy beauty was what stupefied me ,
held my breath,had me flutter with rapture,turned me thy pursuit.
Beaut,like my best ode,yet to be written,to be play.
like looking at a sky with two moons,your eyes,
like the unspent Sunday,
you were as beauteous,one may say,
like the magic held in the unknown joy of
an unsauntered path.
The strangers path & its unknown way.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Her Beauty

There are days when you can look into her face,
the way beauty it radiates.
Sparkling as if the most dazzling of gems,so powerful are thy eye,
in them possessing abilities to make you in a moment cry,laugh & sigh.

& when her lips quiver & she laughs
a hundred daffodils bloom.
you can feel your heart shrinking,
can make you weak or a kiddish chaff get you feel murking.

But stories other days ,does not follow the same path,
As she isn't then like me & you,
no matter how beautiful, how elegant,how true.
You may not realize what strikes so odd,
she is one of those child,children of lesser GOD.

You'll catch her bumbling,a little stumbling,
queerly inimical,drabbingly skeptic.
but someday's she laughs , laughs her heart out & may be,
just may be you won't notice how she is autistic.

Friday, May 29, 2009


Remember those rains,remember them when we met for the first time,
tiny droplets of rain fell into your face
then they seeped in to my hand,
hands which were on your cheeks.
Those drops have become oceans now.

That half bloomed rose,
which I had stolen to gift you,
a thorn of it had pricked you ,had suckled it into my lips
& said to you " tastes sweet",
even today I can taste it at the corners of my lips.

Those two-dime Ice creams,
which we had together.
Oh! how you loved them,
I always could have just a bite,
it was for you after all.
Those ice creams they don't taste good any more,
they've turned bitter with time.

Remember me smiling,singing.
& how you always said "grow up."
have grown up.
perhaps a little late .
though I am not anymore in the habit of getting wet in rains,
the gardener next door he still gives me a rose everyday,
although I cannot have the ice cream any more,
can't have it,never was much into it was I?
Yes,I do keep it beneath your framed picture everyday
besides that half-bloomed rose.

Some Day

Some day not far from this day,
do get yourself out of the hum drum of life today,
peek a look into the life of those days passed
days passed a few days away.
Steal them out of your memory lanes,
those lazy moments,there idyllic way.

When sun beams never used to stung
& sweat made you fired
rather than making you tired.
when daisies grew & winds sung.

To get wet,
in the rains & being afraid of falling ill
was the prerogative of just Ma.
For us it was
always to make our paper boat go
as far away.
That paper boat
& its right & left sways
so close they seem to our nowadays ,
so like our life's ways

To look through that wavy paper boat ,
How unwavering was life then,
Tears for nothing & little white lies
how innocently true were they.

May be we'll live those lazy moments once more
when we are lazy enough to be worthy of them
lets face life again,lets make those lazy ways our way,
lets make our liven once more a gem.

Thursday, May 28, 2009


To look at the morning sun
in the distant horizon.
thinking for how Long
it has appeared
to lighten Up our lives,
letting us hear its morning song.
things It has Witnessed,while it shone
Perhaps The Only witness to every human ever born.
Knower of all the passed smiles,
every tear that ever fell,every human guile's
Sun...Oh!! Sun how glowing are thee,
will continue To do so,
even after Me.
& I wouldn't be here to see.
To see,each while I am down.
then It'll not Brighten up for me,
as I won't be around.
A day when death Would engulf me.
then what is the sense in vying
to be successful?
What is life anyways,If not dying.
Centuries ago a man found fire,
We still use it.But is he still here
to see us use that everyday,
to watch the fulfillment of his desire
to smile at his Achievement.
to laugh make merriment
Still how many of us Think of Him.
Everyday We Drive by
but do we ever think of that man Who created The Wheels?
years pass like days,
men come & go,
leaving solitary suns rays
with no Trace of themselves,to show.
is it of any Worth,then.
I Think then Why am I Doing All of this?
& Then my eyes fall on the roadside
A father teaching his son,how to walk
he smiles At him,the kid reciprocates
I Again Look back
at that Sun,
Now with a smile.
I know Why,
I fight, I work,I aspire,I run.

Blessed be thou,my holy teacher.Oh! Sun.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Being I

The silence
churns inside,
pushes me aside,
still exploring
to walk that tight rope ,
still reciting solitude,
learning recluse,
banishing hope.
To die
& live at alternate moments,
being patient with things
in torments
even if I never find my deliverance.
to walk the thin rope of keeping my identity
& yet thriving for that
holy grail of success
as in world it is called,
pursuing liven over stillness,
no matter how much they are stalled.
where success or failure
are still equally nigh,
Learning the lessons
in being I.


After a while the pain allays,
& what remains is bitterness.
After a while the failure
is not so glaringly visible ,
neither does it snips so much
nor it malaise.
It just remains a bruise ,
which time would heal
in times due course.

After a while
its just the process that is left
of trying in desperation,
fighting in wane.
The outcomes just do not excite enough,
no feelings out pores.
The world then does not revolve for you anymore
things do not transpire,
they stay in their place
no change ,no wants ,no wishes ,no desire.

But never stop trying
even after many whiles pass,
still run for still dream
of that one moment that one chance
when things will turn your way,
when the sun will shine again
& may be your heart would leap with joy
perhaps all those whiles
of pain of angst of wounds
will seem after all worth the while,
not mountains,they would look just mounds.

Thursday, May 14, 2009


The dreams he weaves
are echoes of my dreams,
loves his life, as me
Mourns the grief of his kins,
the same way I do
& grins watching his kids laugh,it is he.

The lines of a grin,a smile on our faces are in such a contrast
from the lines,lines demarcating us,
borders turning us's into they's.
lines letting us forget that we dream,
we live ,we laugh,we cry
the same way for the same things,for the same nights & days.

I've heard that some ammo's were fired this way of the line
to make some dreams sleep here
& the line this way responded Oh! so bravely
slaying many hopes of liven there.
when boundaries fill with life
& lives circumscribe themselves in boundary lines
Dreams then become crimes,
aspiring for a life,just despairing sighs.

Friday, May 8, 2009

My Night My Day

..& the night would sleep again when my eyes quench even for drops of it.
soon morning would break & I'll burn myself along with the sun.
...& again a few aspirations would have to pass the fire of truth.
few dreams would just have to settle held into my eyes.

would have to cleanse hopes out of the fogs of fears
...& set courage as its apparel.
would have to walk on glass or melt like a candle.
...& would have to live again or may be to die again.

...& the night would sleep again when my eyes quench even for drops of it.
soon morning would break & I would burn myself along with the sun.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Autumn Leaf

To look at
the last autumn leaf

Oh! to look at it,
its pain
its grief.

But aren't our dreams,
like a leaf too.
adhering to the tree
called hope.

Holding to it
in the winds
of adversity
seasons of loss.

But dreams
like hopes,
like leaves
relieve themselves

They smile once more,
be green again
when the seasons come.

Do not be saddened
if the dreams of your
died an untimely death,

As the autumn goes
the leaf re-grows.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

It's loony to smile without a cause

Have you ever looked through my eyes
at those evenings we had spent together,
they had a tinge of orange,
just like the scarf you had,
evening winds they touched you so elegantly
then they came to me
& talked of things long gone,
when I used to hear them,
I simply grinned,
& You said " It's loony to smile without a cause ."
Didn't they talked to you,like me.?

How many moons have we seen together?
& have flickered & stopped countless stars.
Those moons,stars there pictures,
weren't they like the gown you always wore?
Cold chilly winds made your lips quiver,
I felt like embracing you into my arms.
but then thinking of all this made me smile,smile at me.
& You said " It's loony to smile without a cause ."
Never did you saw my wavering speech,Wasn't it audible enough?

Today all those memories came to me again,they usually come.
I don't even remember,how many years have gone since those winds flew.
Decades have been & I haven't seen your quivering lips.
but memories they are memories,
They visit every evening,each night to accompany me.
Never do they allow me to be recluse.
So that I could grin again smile once more
To make you say,"It's loony to smile without a cause ."

So that I can quieten again,
like always,may be forever...

Had I Been Your Love...

Had I been your lover,
every moment of mine
would have been coloured by the hues of your smile.
Those nights when I dream of you
& those mornings when I hope of you to come true
when I fumble with my hands
for thy palms clasping mine
...palms those non existing palms.
those hands would have been caressing you,
cherishing every touch that you would have threw my way.
Had I been your lover they would not have been missing you.

Had I been your lover,
I would have been more of a human,
because my tears which snatch away my sanity
would have been cleansing me to make me your worthy breaths as they are now
would have been far warmer in your embrace,
when I would have been able to feel your aroma around me.
when I could look at your face.

But You are not mine,
neither will it ever happen that way,
& all my dreams would be trampled hopes would be tarnished,nothing would go my way.
Oh! the anguish to see you with else
thinking of you waking up
all mornings with somebody beside you.
The thoughts make me palpate with emotions
rather good for bru'te.

Had I been the one you love,
the story of us would have been made of
those perfect crimson tales
...tales where everything ends with felicity.
but then happiness as I have found comes with a lot of price,
pain keeps us sane,it keeps us nice

Friday, April 24, 2009

Shun Me...

Shun me,for my transgress is humanity,
I cannot be liven where they are not equaled.
not by what books they follow ,what colours their skin.
respect is their patrimony ,they are akin.

Banish me,to espouse my Rationale,abide by my principals,
since never will I be a coward who dodges
every hassle he is set to,
by changing his ideals & gets through.

Bar me when they want to do injustice ,
as I will always stand against it.
I won't be an allies
in their deeds of perfidies or malice.

Ostracize me or obliterate me,your will.
For You are my only ruler,Divine.
& I cannot hymn or plea
for anybody,anyone but Thee.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

I & Thee...

This poem was written when I was saddened to see Humans committing atrocities on their species,it shows the scary side of us.

To,cringe to be me,
For,such is thy place.O ! Lord
here appearances change like garb,
piousness for them is sin,
humility they take to be barb.
I desire still to protect my beliefs,
exploring the end of burrow,
vying for thy light.
to rejuvenate whatever littlest I can,from this plight.
Seeking truth it is so antique,
atheist is the name of your sons,GOD.
Adams descendants have turned so oblique
some do pray,then out go they kill,
Me,I seek ,I dream,I aspire,I beam,
baffling as it is,
at times.
have to arise,
have to see,
For,such is thy place.O ! Lord
Where it is a crusade to be me.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

As GOD Wants...

Thyself were not created to spend the rigmaroles that you it in,expend.

Even beasts & brutes do the equal
...of finding food,search for refuge.

Were you made to cry & beshrew.
...elapse your life like this all through.

How then can you be apposite of that
...that noetic that reasoning you were given,

Thy thoughts should make up your aim
...thy's actions thy's explanation of liven.

Only work ought to be thy faith
...growth the essence of thy felicity

GOD at the core of all the endeavors
...only He as necessity.

Perform but not for rewards or fears feteless devout maketh thee one of GOD's dear.

Thyself were not created to spend the rigmaroles that you it in,expend.

Even beasts & brutes do the equal
...of finding food,search for refuge.

Were you made to cry & beshrew.
...elapse your life like this all through.

You were not made O human just to spend your life in the daily chores you spend it in,don't animals do it the same way..Neither were you destined to cry & complain like u do..& spend it just doing that..

How then can you be apposite of that
...that noetic that reasoning you were given

How can then You be termed as synonym of brains,logic,reasons that make you,you...

Thy thoughts should make up your aim
...thy's actions thy's explanation of liven.

Only work ought to be thy faith
...growth the essence of thy felicity

GOD at the core of all the endeavors
...only He as necessity.

Perform but not for rewards or fears feteless devout maketh thee one of GOD's dear.

Your thoughts should be your own ..they should define your actions of life...your religion your work..only your own personal uplift the reason of your happiness..think of GOD at every step,Make only him your for the sake of work worship for the love of GOD not reward because God only loves people who are devoted to him without a cause...

Monday, April 20, 2009


Hope is our only accomplice at times,
when trials end up in failures,
when smile is too high-priced.
Hope is the friend you keep
when even shadows turn aside.

Hope is to look for the north star
in dark sky with a lost ship.
Hope is to think of sun
when everything is enshrouded in snow.
Hope is when after everything you have lost
a part inside still courageously says," I will show."

Sunday, April 19, 2009


" Black" & the man who was attending him gave him a sheepish look,was he grinning too he could not fathom.He could though not get much time to ponder at it.As the attendant came back almost as quickly as he had left,with the desired tie.

He liked the tie, as his wife had said, should conform to the occasion & it was absolutely conforming to every notion of civilization man may have had.It had streaks,it was proper & it was black.

When he came back home.His wife had the same level of enthusiasm intact as she possessed when he had went.She was happy because her husband was finally getting a promotion in his firm & with it potentially an uplift in their social bourgeois status.It made her happy.He could hear her sing, even when he was in the shower.It made him simper.

Why wasn't he happy himself.He cogitated.He was getting something he had desired for long.Then promotion
was companioned with a pay hike.Providing them with things they could now have under the list of affordable commodities.With all these things percipient in his mind,he tried to be happy but the more he wanted to smile, the more it refused to come to his face.

He was out of his bath now, but wasn't out of those thoughts.Thoughts of him not being happy, perhaps what he had heard in his office was not truth,perhaps the janitors were talking about someone else.But he knew it was the truth,it was him.

He remembered being happy when he first got the news of him being senior officer in-charge.While he was leaving the office he had to pick a file from the shelves.

He then heard two janitors in the next room talking, "So from tomorrow your boss will be a nigger" then the other said in a slow cabalish tone " Weird man! now a negroid would be Boss & we the subordinates" Then they laughed,it felt to him that they were laughing at everything he ever thought he ever achieved.Was it about him being black or him being a better more qualified human,that he was here.

Since then he could see things through a completely different perspective, he saw a couple in the drive way,the women holding her husband tighter when she saw him in the drive way, he had never seen her.But somehow she felt that he was a threat.He saw another man look at him deep & hard a few blocks away the man looked at him then his hands as if saying,"Thank GOD I am clean.I am white."

Recollecting all those times when it had happened & he refused to acknowledge the happenings,the times he had heard the word "Nigger" resonate around him & he not looking that way.

Why was it aching now then? Why this anguish suddenly? May be now as he was being snatched away from all he had accomplished just because he was coloured.They thought it strange that he can reach any height because he was not like them.

"Daduu" He heard & it ramparted his thoughts.He looked at his,year old kid who strangely was not looking at him but at his photo which was framed.The kid was incessantly looking at the picture.For him his Daduu was beautiful, for him he was brave,for him he was his hero.

The kid managed to do , what everything else failed, his son made him smile,smile with a new faith a new power.

" Ladies & Gentlemen, Please applaud for our new senior office in-charge." Boss said, employees obeyed amidst the loud claps, the Boss continued" People, it is a great privilege for me to also announce him as the first coloured man to be able to achieve such feat.In the whole state."

He rose with a wide smile , he could look at those two janitors in the last row he said," Sir, Thank you for the honour.Though just a request please in place of calling me a coloured refer to me as a nigger or a black.I like it that way...."

Thursday, April 16, 2009


Hold me thee,
..till I drown myself.
In your eyes,
..eyes that dazzles more than any sun in the sky.

nurture me for sometime,
..while I try too reiterate the act of living.
having seen you smile,
..the way angels cause emotions to rile.

partake me again,
..until i am witting of my senses.
As i have touched you once & have felt the fragilious,being entranced by the experiences.

tenderize me again, that I can palpate the aroma of you,
The smell of all the blossoms put together,
..still humane but no other.

buss me never again,
..for i have had the everlasting kiss.
If recurred which would be
..adulterated by feelings of unplatonic desires of thee.

wake me now because if it is a dream will have to conclude,
To take away from me the bliss
..given by amor & would turn me amiss.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Don't You Think....

Don't you think
Am lost since you went,
My days are same,
my nights are fine.
Holding onto happiness
Is still an avocation of mine.

Don't you think
Its you I beshrew,
Dear I never utter your name.
secretly holding it in my palms,
drawing it in my heart,
caressing it, Its my lost self I claim.

Don't you think
I am unaware of seasons since then,
I am,may be more.
But I choose not to reply,
their calls.
when they squall and thud at my door.

Don't you think
I'll fade & vanish then,
Will rise again,I'll imbue.
Absolved and stroked by my tears
I would cease to think of you,
to miss, to love you.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


"The food is nice."a man spoke,in such a refined tone that it would have made most connoisseurs think.Yes, there was food gamut of it & words raving the fine taste of different cuisines were being imbued in the air,may be they were the most important ingredient enhancing the aroma of food.Filling every nostril with that svelte sense of hunger, when you know that you are going to eat like a mammoth but in a very subtle,gentlemanly way.

They all were esteemed men & were gathered there for a very noble cause.It was to be a fund raising ceremony for the destitute, for people below a certain poverty line.They were about to donate money for that cause,big money for small people.

Sometimes charity can be a better healer than any addiction because for moments or may be more it can genuinely make you feel good.No matter how you earned the money.

They were there to experience this heady experience hence the festivity was strictly non alcoholic.

He saw his kids both aged around 4-5, they were famished, possibly more.After all at such a tender age nobody can learn to control these basic human urges.They only had water for the last two days.

Why do we ever need to manipulate such feelings of hunger or of feeling cold & if we have to then why wretched like us are ever given such senses.

Then he laughed at his own thought process they were not meant to be so wretched it was not devised it just happened.That some of them went up in the social strata & some were left lurching down.

He could see fulgurant lights from his house at that hotel,the torn thatched roofed shelter was in a stark contrast to all that glitterati visible there,he heard in the morning,that they were having some sort of "Help the poors" ceremony rather charity. He knew that he would surely get something out there.

"From where is that,sound emanating?"The same man asked,who earlier had annotated on the food.

Another of the eminent guest spoke "Nothing much,the watchmen's have caught hold of a thief,he was trying to steal something."

"Bloody,idiots, don't they have any morals left in the society,trying to steal from a fund raising ceremony.What would he get here anyhow?" The distinguished man asked,to no one in particular.He was deeply anguished by this episode.

Afterall they were here for such a sanctimonious event & that was being bemired by a bemiring beast,who obviously was not worth calling a human.He was sad.

"I am not a thief" he screamed.

He yelped for help,but those men they kept on pounding him.He could see the guests looking at him through the windows.He wanted to tell them that he was not some stealer,he was here for help not treachery.But he could see there faces they were staring at him in such a way,the way a man from a reputed family looks at a cyprian,was it that bad to be a poor man? They had left him now,on his own he was bleedingprofusely.

What was my fault he thought I just wanted to enter the place & ask for charity my children haven't had anything for the last two days.Isn't it about helping the piteous?

"I would like to ask for a roaring round of applause for the highest collector of charity for today's event,gentlemen a big round of applause" the speaker said,

The same man rose again,who earlier was grief stricken with the activity of that thief.So, he stood & said " Thank you, Thank You everybody,Actually its all about helping the piteous."

& outside the window in the ground a man was still trying to get up,get up from the mud created by the dirt & blood around.

Thursday, April 2, 2009


" I have to do something, I can't let them be hungry for yet another day." He thought, but what was he going to do.There was no work available & now his son, a healthy young man all of twenty five had been disposed of his work.Everything seemed gloomier with each passing day.No work, no money.He had to take a step, but what could he,approaching five decades of existence he was of no use as a new age constructional labor or even a rickshaw puller.But he could not see them sleeping hungry everyday.He was walking.Perhaps the dual effect of the sweating due to all that he was thinking & the city lights, made him dizzy for a few seconds.Sitting down on road side,he could still not fathom his next step.

As he watched the world pass by, each human with his own set of problems,it made him think,GOD where ever he is sitting right now does he look at his people, his supposed sons,ever.Then realized it was not GOD he had to think of now it was food.He remembered his friend telling him a few weeks ago about a guy who donated his kidney for twenty five thousand rupees.The clinic was just a few blocks away.He had mocked at such an idea then, but now it seemed more & more a possibility.What use were his kidneys anyway? But what would he tell his family when they ask "Where did you find so much money?" May be he would just say he had won a lottery or something,would they believe it. But would they believe it,what choice he had anyways.

He walked to that clinic,just ten paces away.Each step counted, each breath felt.

They told him he was not fit to donate, he had to put on atleast two more kilos.He laughed then at there brains & his luck.If he could put on those kilos would he come here.Perhaps he would come again on a better day, with a better luck.

He had a heavy heart when he went back to his home.But the ambiance at home was a little different ,his wife welcomed him with a smile,smile he had seen the last time when they took a photograph of them together few years ago.The picture was framed & still kept somewhere near there bed he remembered.His wife said "Come , I have cooked your favorite dish, we were just waiting for you to come home" He felt the same dizziness he felt at the road was he hearing it correctly, was she making a joke."How, where Did you get the money?" he said, each word spoken as if waiting for someone to laugh at him in between.She did laugh but not in the same sarcastic manner he had thought, but it was a more gay smile a homily smile."You know our son,its his money, he said he had bought a lottery ticket & as GOD wanted it,he won.Oh! how happy I am,but he said his stomach was a little upset so he won't eat with us now,What a pity.He is sleeping." She said.

He went to see him,he could see his sallow face,he knew where did he got the lottery ticket,what price he had paid for that.How could he eat the food of his son's blood.he just sat down where he was standing,closed his eyes.

Perhaps he had failed as a father, perhaps he hadn't....

Monday, March 16, 2009

Have Faith...

Have faith,that light said.
why should I?why should I?
you make me suffer,give me pain.
Happiness just pours like few drops of rain.
Oh! pain, you afraid of that,happiness you want right.
let me then bless you with infinite joy.
But how would you then differentiate.
joy,would it be that without accompanying sorrow,
What would then entice you to look for tomorrow?

Hurt makes a better you,
remember your father taught you ride a bike
he did hold it from behind
but after a while ,let you ride on your own,
sometimes you fell,you bleed you were hurt,you did moan.
But why did he do it,to make you learn to ride.did you complain for that fall.
Am I not the father of you all?

I was short of words,
swallowing the lump brought in my mouth,
what was I to say, now.
but the light then diminished,it went away.
I asked were you really him,it would not say.
I woke up,still with that lump,with a fear but not wraith.
Have faith, a voice said,have faith...

You Know...Don't You

You know Decembers,
they make me frightened even now,after all these year,
frozen,chilly winds,pass a chill down my throat,
freeze my voice,when they say,
"December,how many Decembers has it been,without her."
You know,don't you?

You know these full moon nights,
remember when we were on our roof watching the stars,
they talk to me,talk to me of times,
when days,were filled with stories & nights with talks,
they say do you still go to the roof now?
if not then with whom do you talk to,the walls or the windows,where do you hide your scars?
You know,don't you?

You know I am still afraid to walk down that road,
road we had strolled together.
fearing that I would get a hold of that tree again,
what would I answer it,when it asks,
how do you live without her?
You know,don't you?

You know rains,
I still don't look at them,
but their sound it annoys me to no ends,
I close my eyes & I can still see those droplets of water in your small palms.
those drops they came again last night through the windowpanes,
asking me, where were your palms,what was your name?
You know,don't you?

You know people,they say,do I feel alone? do I feel fragile?
they are the same,people we knew.
So,I in return tell them to look into my eyes deep
there lies your picture,I tell them
I live with your thoughts every moment I breath, every heart-beat I endure,
But yes I am alone,yes, I am fragile,yes I still miss you.
I hope you know,I hope you do....

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Brave Man- A Monologue

The choices between life & death never seemed this trivial,I remember just a few days ago telling my friend,

"It is better to die a brave death then to lead an average life."

Now when I can look into the eyes of death do I realize,the value of each passing second.No, I am not afraid of death,no.But a few seconds or hours may be days wouldn't be mind.There are many things still to be done many jobs pending.But life its a strange gift,you don't realize its worth till it whizzes past.

Ever since the morning there was firing & I could not fathom where to point my gun where to fire. I would not say I was brave Or anything but I surely was the aim of a few bullets & Some Of them succeeded.I write this as I can See the angels Of death smiling at me,I write This as I can see my whole Life Going Past Me in A flash.But I have things to talk about.

Father,the relations between a father & son are never covered with words,they are more about understanding & most Of the communication is done through the mediator,mother.Dad,I still long for those days,when as a kid you taught me To ride a bicycle,whenever The Cycle lost its balance, I always found you Holding it from behind.

Pa & now when I have lost the balance,I still want to see you coming & holding me.I miss those hugs of yours,which you gave me whenever you returned from office,As a kid That Was the most cherishable treasure you gave me.But as I grew up,The hugs became Scarce,even the words exchanged between us turned as economical as possible.

I wonder why that happens because,ever since I understood the world the only thing I ever wanted to achieve was a smile on your face,for me,my achievements & that Was the hardest to get.I always emulated you,The way I walked,I talked,even when my school Football team was being selected I enrolled myself as a goal-keeper just Because You were one,when I knew I was much better as a striker.But I missed on the trials,then I cried for hours in the bathroom,I felt I let you down.

You were my ideal Dad,the man I wanted but could Never be.In death I can see you smile,the same smile I always Wanted from you,don't think its Too late,I saw it,i can see it.But Pa when the war is over & everybody picks Up the loose threads of there lives,promise me That you will do the same.I love You baba,I always did,just could Never say it.

Ma, I am afraid of you really frightened,You are the Only person I am afraid of making Cry but i know it is you,who will cry the most.You even Cried when I got my knees scratched playing in the compound of our house.

I know You could Never understand Why I had to go & fight & kill people I don't even know,I haven't even seen,& I always said to you,this is how it is done,But the truth is I never understood it myself.

As I am Lying Down here the Thing I Miss most is not war or blood but,you,your voice,the way you called me,the way you made me eat out of your hands,if i could just sleep On your lap one Last time,If i could just see you smile One Last time.What should I say to you,what can i say to you,even i love you seems Less,some of your dreams would die with me.

Mother It is not about me dying That is consternating me the most it is about the death of little bit of you with me & i know That there are no word in this world which have the ability to soothe you.they say when you die,You go to GOD,but anyplace without you,Can it be Godly Ma? I Am sorry Ma,I am sorry.

They say brave soldiers die for the country,but the truth is nobody absolutely nobody wants to die.It is a truth I have understood here.

Last night one of my colleague showed me the picture of his three years old daughter,seeing the picture I looked into his eyes,then we cried,cried for a long time without uttering a word.

Bravery,pride are very important but who would tell this to a three year old or even my half a century old Ma.I can see that friend,lying besides me here his folded hands still has that picture.I hope this blood stained picture of a three year old when goes back would tell people the reality of war.
War,what did war gave me?My family?Anybody?No war is ever for good,no peace is ever for bad.

I am breathing but the breathing is heavier,I can see reinforcements,may be I should shout,perhaps they'll save me."Hello,I Am here...."

Friday, March 13, 2009

You never knew

You went past,brushing lightly the wind around.
I saw you till you became a dot Walking the road,till I could hear that foot tapping sound
Then the next day,you were there in the bus stop, me I was last one in that line,
trying to hide behind the crowd & see those eyes
darting past every form visible.
I was always there somewhere near you,you never knew,did you?

I was in your college too,that's actually where I first saw you.
but then I was never much noticeable was I ?
& you were every where,you were known,you were celebrated.
I was always a little nameless, bit more obscure
looking at you from the farthest bench in the class.
I was always there somewhere near you,you never knew,did you?

Once I did try confront you,but obviously could never do.
You were always too beautiful & too busy.
Then days turned into months,months in years.
I was always in your class, loving you despite my jitters.
My love never reached you,but my notes did,the name at the top of the pages were they ever viewed.
I saw you write out of my pages,but whose pages were they you never knew.

Its Been years to those memories now,life has ran its course.
But even today looking at the moon I can see your face,in pure bliss untamed joy.
That day when rain bathed you outside the college,I was there beneath the mango tree,smiling but coy.
you too then took shelter beneath that tree,few drops of water through your flowing hairs,reached me.
That was the closest to you,I could ever be,how happy seemed thee,felicity befalling me.
I stood throughout that rain with you,you never knew,did you?

Through the crumpled pages of those notes,you still look at me.
You smile,you talk,you sigh, you mock as it could never be.
Yesterday someone told you were now married & had kids of yours.
it made me smile, a smile of acknowledgment of time gone by,of untouched shores.
But still someday's when I am a little weak my mind drifts to you, perhaps there are certain things,things that would be never known by you....

Wednesday, March 11, 2009


Solitude I grope for you,
Solitude I know you'll be true.

It does not matter if I see smiles or I encounter light,
I still want to feel you somewhere inside.

For some seconds,stealing myself from the worlds display views,
I desire that you'll come through.

Life,each life is now so crowded,
The real we seems always enshrouded.

I need you solitude to look into me,
solitude I want you to let me be free.

In those pangs of pain,Days gone without rain.
Trials gone vain,when life feels insane.

I need solitude to quench my thirst,
I want my life,for that i want solitude first...

Monday, March 9, 2009

Vision To Love

" Hey, how are you?" She said, it made me fly.

I said something like " I am good.Yeah".

& she went past my desk,but I could still smell her perfume,it was all around me.Which perfume is this, I thought momentarily & then "Who cares" said with a sigh .

The aroma of that scent was still lingering somewhere but now it was a little distant. It had been a perfect day till now & listening to her now was the cherry on the cake. This was the moment, I was thinking about all my way through for the office, may be even before that.

Waking up today I had this happy feeling, happy feeling that we have when we are woken up by the tiny warm rays of sun, a happy feeling which we usually have those days , days when we are anticipating something, excited about that thing.The weather outside added to the charm, walking by I could feel the same warm rays at my face.

It made me smile, these smiles, smiles for nothing or may be of something, something inside you, a secret which only you know about & can only share with the flowing winds or the rays of the sun. These secretive smiles help you rejuvenate, the breeze too was helpful enough, putting pleasing thoughts into me.

"Hey, how are you?" I was asked, again breaking the chain of my thoughts & no it was not her this time,it was my colleague, a good friend.

" I am great, you know she came & asked me, how was I, today morning & you know yesterday when we were leaving from the office, she said to me, do eat at the right times, you don't take enough care of your self & man they say when a girl is inquiring about your eating habits, she is into you. What do you think?" I mouthed all at once.

Then after a pause realizing my self involvement said, " Although how are you?" ,

"Me, I am alright. The weather outside is not much gratifying. Its cloudy since the morning & the wind outside is too filled with sand & pollution, Leave that. I am happy for you, love-shav huh!! but I don't know what you find in her, I mean there are better girls you see. she I feel is very flabby & too short. It would have aided if she was a little fair too. But even that is not the case. Anyways if you happen to like her, well enough." He said

& then spoke again "I have to be at my cabin , you continue receiving your calls, telephone man."& laughed a little too loudly for my pleasure.

He went & left me engrossed in myself. Maybe its good that I can only feel somethings like the sunrays, the breeze,her aromaMay be things are felt better than seen . May be vision is a curse,Perhaps being blind is a boon because she never felt unbeautiful to me, how can she, she has the most beautiful voice, perhaps when they look at her & her not so good face puts them off so much that they never give enough heed to her voice. Perhaps not being able to see makes me better as a man, perhaps I am not blind enough.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Loonies-From The Diary Of The Unknown

"Why Are They Shouting?" I was asked by one of the inmates & I had no answer to that,

I just kept on gazing towards the epicenter of those nerve shattering sounds, blood thirsty yellings of people I could not see, nor I wished to see. But I was unable to understand what they wanted, that too at this hour & at a place like this.

”Why are they shouting? I cannot concentrate on my chess game.”One of them said,

it made me smile. I looked at his non-existent chess board & then at him, he was trying to concentrate really hard on something at the floor, perhaps his chess game. But the sounds outside took my gaze away towards the main door again.

I had to do something, I had to save them, I thought.

Afterall I was their custodian, their keeper. But what could I do, they knocked again shouting open or get it broken.

Now I mustered all my strength & went towards the main entry of the place & through the closed gate spoke,

”What do you want?”

There was a loud cry outside, they were intonating some religious slogan, I wanted to use the word chanting in place of intonating. But then, I wondered, can it really be holy chanting when you have arms in your hands.

Anyways they were rioters, ready to burn or tore down anything coming their way. They had already killed quite a few people; they were on this rampage for the last two days. There was an eerie silence outside now,

I asked again, ”What do you want?”.

A voice came from the other side of door, ”Open it, open the door, we will not let any man from their faith live, they kill our brothers, mothers, sisters, we will not let them live”,

As he verbalized those words the whole gathering again burst into those holy intonations, What could I possibly do now, there were a few men of that religion at our place,

Still I spoke, Actually not spoke but sang a particular hymn of my religion to let them understand that I was one of them &

then said, ”Brothers, this is just a loony bin. What would you get killing these schizophrenics here, some of them even don’t know their names, forget religion.
Some of them have already killed their relatives that is why they are here. They can be dangerous”

“Hmmm, Ok then we will leave you, but keep one thing in mind. Those mads who are not from our faith, keep them separated from the one with us.”He said,

I gathered that he was afraid, afraid of those lunatics, afraid of what madness could do. They forgot what there madness was doing, they were scared of insanity not there’s but of the men who were loonies not because they wanted because they had the liability of madness thrust upon them.
I said, yes, still tensed, clasping the doors of the gate tightly,

I could still hear them shout; those voices were at a distance now. But they still held that terror in there voice .Fear this emotion was now slowly being replaced with sadness, sadness of the knowledge that many eyes would see their last nights today.

I drew myself back to the interiors of that loony bin or lunatic asylum as they called it, had to separate a few inmates according to instructions from the rioters, the intelligent perpetrators of violence.

My first cell had two men brought up on different books, different names for GOD but one thing uniting them they were both balmy or mad. Fate had bought them together in this cell & now it was my duty to separate them, as I looked into their cell I found one of them lying on bed with closed eyes, I knew he was running with temperature but what amazed me was his cell mate, who was dancing around him.

I shouted at him, ”Don’t you see he is ill, how can you dance like this?”

he mumbled,” I am dancing because that is how he will get well, that is how he will be relieved of his ails.”
Then pointing his fingers towards a distant void he said, ”He told me this.”

There was no one. It was his OCD & voices talking. I decided to forgo the idea of separating their cabins, Once earlier when he had to be taken to hospital for his ailments they had to be separated, then he cried as he didn’t want to leave his cell-mate here & go to some other place. He only understood what he said & vice-versa & now i understood that both of them were unaware of the word religion.

So who would now tell him that you are from different religions? Who will tell them that it was not the same GOD who created both of you, they had no identity no religion among themselves. They were nuts just nuts. Though I could not understand who the nuts were. These guys inside the cell of the asylum or those who were trying to make the whole world an asylum.

Next morning when I woke up, I read in the news paper ‘Riot mob kills a dozen. ’Then Looking at those closed cells of the mental asylum I thought,” GOD! Bless the nuts,may we all be nuts”